Let’s Talk About Kissing!

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In my career as a dating coach, one of the most common questions I get is “John, how do I get a kiss from the girl that I fancy?”

Well, here’s the answer. 🙂

First things first! Kissing is an essential part of intimate relationships.

Whether it’s a peck in the cheek, a small smack, or a full on torrid Frenchie, kissing is a very good way of conveying passion and intimacy to your partner.

Different types of kisses mean different things and done to different people (there are 39 of those, at least according to this site); but apart from how deep, how sloppy and how quick or how long the kiss lasted, the other thing that is an area of concern when it comes to kissing is when it happens. Do you delve into the quick first kiss on the first date? If not, when do you do it?


My friend James demonstrating his pecker techniques! Haha!

Here are some guidelines on kissing that you should never, ever forget:

  • The only acceptable kisses on the first date are the courteous pecks on the cheeks. One is enough but if you are feeling English, go for both cheeks. You cannot go too far as a peck on the lips on the first date, unless you want to go home with a slap on the face. But if she initiates it, given that the lady is not drunk or drugged, by all means take it but be a gentleman while at it.
  • Don’t forget your hygiene. A chance at some post-date smooch is always a good reason and motivation to floss and use mouthwash. Oh, and to bring breath mints as well. The last thing you want is end an otherwise awesome date with your lady having to catch her breath after kissing all the garlicky food you just had for dinner. This should also remind you to avoid strong-smelling food for dinner.
  • Don’t be too pushy and aggressive on your first kiss. In a boxing match, the first round or two is always used to measure up each other. The first kiss should be no different. Going too pushy and shoving in your tongue too soon is not the best way to go. Start slow, soft and gentle. It will not only get you a chance to adjust into her ‘kissing style’; she will think you’re the perfect gentleman.
  • Another very important point when kissing is where to place your hands while kissing. It is pretty easy to fall into full lust mode and try groping her. Do that when you’re in bed and ready to shred each other’s clothes off. But for the first few kisses, you may want to romantically but comfortably rest your hands cupping her jaws, or holding her waist firmly.
  • If your kiss was not meant for something else, end it with a kiss on the forehead. After smooching your way in her lips and you need to let go, finish it with a long, lingering peck on her forehead. For some reason, a kiss on the forehead after a long liplock is a way of showing respect for the lady. It’s a perfect way to cap off a kiss, and it does not even feel grandma-ish at all!
  • Don’t kiss and tell. A guy who kisses and tells is a total turn off. It’s disgusting, it’s ungentlemanly. This is against the rules. Still don’t get it? Go and read the flirting 101 guide at angelsgate.com. Now!

Are you ready for your kiss? Good luck!

About John "Warlock" Byrnes

Nicknamed the "Warlock", I've been a dating coach since 2010. My latest guide, "The Newbie's Guide To Everlasting Love", is now available on Kindle. I am currently available for coaching work. Contact me using this form and get 50% off your first session with me. :)

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