(Coaching Question) Dating Your Ex-Girlfriend – Yay Or Nay?



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Should you really date your ex-girlfriend?

Question from a long-time reader of EFX2BLOGS.COM – Patrick “China” Grover –

“A lot of people say that love is sweeter and definitely lovelier the second time around. After all, by then we would have learned the lessons of the past relationship and become wiser, better people and better lovers. But is it really a great idea to actually try to rekindle an old flame?  Is a recurring feeling towards your ex-girlfriend a good enough reason to forget about why you broke up in the first place? Should I go back to her?”

OK, Patrick, here are some pros and cons of dating an ex, and see if your pro’s can outweigh the odds:

PROS OF DATING AN EX

  • You won’t live in what ifs. If you have an unfinished business, if you still have feelings for your ex, and if you think these feelings are worth a second chance, by all means don’t deprive yourself of the chance to try these feelings out and make it work again. According to our blueprint of seduction, one should always work hard to get what he or she wants, especially in terms of seducing. Who knows, the time you’ve spent apart were enough a time to realize that you’ve left a big gap in each other’s hearts and only you could fill those gaps. Instead of just wondering about what would have happened, go ahead and give it a try. Whether it works or it does not, you’d know better because you’ve actually given it a try. At least, it’s worth the trouble according to one certain Mr Duncan.
  • Going out with a former lover will leave out the awkwardness and the getting to know part. Unless you’ve separated for a very long time, getting back with your ex will save you the awkwardness of getting to know someone new. You would only be reliving some old memories together, talking about familiar things and familiar people because you already know each other. And depending on how your last meeting went, your date would likely be less awkward than or not awkward at all – definitely something you won’t find in a new girl kind of date… especially if you’re into Grandmas! Hint, hint!
  • You have something to talk about. Sure it may include some old memories but if you play your cards right, your old memories and old issues might just be the thing that would bridge you both. Unlike in a new fling where you have to discover new feelings, dating your ex-girlfriend would likely bring some old, more innocent feelings back which is always makes for a great recipe for an even better love story.

CONS OF DATING AN EX

  • Old flame, old issues. You guys broke up for a reason – and this reason might be good (or bad) enough to tear up some new relationship you’re trying to build. Love may be sweeter, but if it goes bad and she has kept you hanging in the relationship, it may become so much more bitter, the second time around too.
  • One of you might be after some sweet revenge. This is the biggest risk in trying to get back with an ex. She may be dating you again to get back at you over the last relationship, or you to her. And maybe even not but thoughts and suspicions of this possibility might haunt either of you for the rest of the time you’re dating.
  • You may have changed drastically over the time you spent apart and you may just have lost everything that has made you a compatible pair. People change – and she might have changed enough to lose the person that you once fell for. It may not work at all.

Conclusion: just follow your heart, buddy! Of course, don’t forget to follow the Warlock Method to the dot and you’ll do fine.

Wise words from The Warlock!

About John "Warlock" Byrnes

Nicknamed the "Warlock", I've been a dating coach since 2010. My latest guide, "The Newbie's Guide To Everlasting Love", is now available on Kindle. I am currently available for coaching work. Contact me using this form and get 50% off your first session with me. :)

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